Holding your partner’s hand during a fight is the simplest and most powerful fighting hack that I’ve discovered. It might just change the way you and your partner argue, forever. Here’s how it’s done: reach for your partner’s hand when things are getting heated in the middle of an argument. Hold it as the fight continues. Change nothing else. This may sound bizarre, but the impact of this small gesture is nothing short of magical.
‘Tis the season of stress and we’re all feeling it.
We’re often told that in order to reduce stress, we need to consume less alcohol, eat healthier foods, sleep at least 8 hours per night, and exercise regularly. While these are excellent ideas, they’re difficult habits to form in the best of times – attempting them now is almost guaranteed to fail, which will only add guilt and shame to your stress cocktail.
For this reason, I’m going to share some instant gratification stress reducing techniques you can use to reduce your stress right away (within 24 hours).
I usually write about relationship challenges my husband (Steve) and I have resolved or figured out. But today, I’ve decided to write about something we’re currently struggling with: should we or shouldn’t we have kids?
While Steve and I haven’t yet made any definitive decisions, I’ll share the honest details of the debate we’re having in the hopes that: (i) it helps others having a similar (private) discussion, and (ii) it encourages couples who’ve been where we are to share their wisdom with us.
My criteria for choosing a partner was simple. I asked myself the following question:
Is being with this person more fun than being on my own (knowing that I had a LOT of fun on my own)? Yes or No?
What’s the cost of letting the call go to voicemail? Of ignoring the PING or vibration of your phone? Of putting your device on ‘Do Not Disturb’?
Welcome to Part 2 of Managing Money as a Couple.
Most people shy away from talking about money. It’s no wonder that money is one of the things couples fight about most. How are we supposed to learn about money management if no one talks about it?
Whether you’re just starting to think about merging your finances with your partner, or you’ve been doing it for years, you’ll find some helpful ideas in this post.
Let’s talk about money.
Money can be tricky to manage on your own. Add your significant other to the mix and it becomes significantly more complicated (get it? I’m so punny!).
I’m going to share how my husband, Steve, and I manage our finances. I’m going to get into the nitty-gritty details. In this post (Part 1), I’ll share:
- where we learned about money,
- the difference between good debt and bad debt, and
- how we mopped up my credit card debt in the early days of our relationship.
When arguing with your significant other, do it with the confidence of knowing you’ll find a resolution.
If you’re working from the same set of facts, then you’ll arrive at the same conclusion. Arguing is one way couples share facts.
Dad: “If that kid is going to be there, then I’m not coming to your wedding.”
The “kid” to whom he was so rudely referring was my half-brother.
Me: “Fine. Don’t come.”
I had a hard time with this one, folks.
I’ve always fancied myself an expert apologizer. I have LOTS of opinions on how and when we should apologize and I’ve been working on creating my own apology framework for couples.
As I was researching apologies, I discovered the nine essential ingredients of a true apology by apology expert, Dr. Harriet Lerner (@HarrietLerner). Harriet is a trained clinical psychologist who’s written several New York Times bestselling books, her most recent one being Why Won’t You Apologize?
Her framework has given me a lot to think about. Some of her ingredients overlap with my own (which makes me feel super smart), and others raise a lot of questions for me which almost made me scrap this post altogether and write about something else – something easier.